Here is a close-up of one of Lianne’s flowers. We bought her a little bouquet of flowers and gave them to her after one of her performances. We are so proud of Lianne for auditioning for and getting a part in the school musical — Seussical the Musical.

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So today is going to be a rough day. I could feel it the moment I woke up this morning. Actually, the day didn’t begin well, because Lianne woke me up and told me that I had about 10 minutes to get ready because she needed a ride to school; they are doing an early performance of the musical today at the high school. Ugh.

I woke up feeling really congested in my sinuses, especially behind the eyes. I feel like I am in a fog. Actually, I feel hung over (not that I know what that feels like personally…ha). I am so irritable this morning too, I can feel the emotions right at the surface, just bubbling up about to burst. Yeah, today is definitely not going to be a great day. And to top it off, today I actually have to leave the house. I don’t know if I am up to it – today of all days – but I must go pick up Kiera at my parents’ place and so ready or not, here I go.

Yesterday I was so completely energized the entire day. I vaccumed and mopped my floors top to bottom in my house and never seemed to run out of steam at all. Late afternoon I began to get these overwhelming cravings for junk food. I realized it was because I was hungry, so I made the blended soup and had an early dinner. I ate three bowls of soup, and the cravings disappeared.

The biggest challenge today will be the fact that I will be around other people eating regular food. Here at home I have been separating myself from my family members when they eat. Maybe I’m overreacting, but I just feel so vulnerable in these first few days of the challenge. I don’t know how I would do this if I had to go off to work every day. I guess I would find a way, right?! So far this week I haven’t had to cook suppers for my family, they have been eating leftovers – lasagne and spaghetti that I made on the weekend as a preparation for this challenge, but starting tomorrow I will have to begin cooking meals again, so I am trying to prepare myself for that. How wonderful it would be if the whole family was doing the challenge with me, then I wouldn’t have to think about what to feed “them”… In my dreams!

I must say I am feeling just a tiny bit better right now, just by writing all this down. I know I need to “feel the feelings” instead of stuffing them down with food. Writing it all down is a great way to give voice to all these feelings. There are no “bad” feelings or “good” feelings, they are just feelings, and they are all valid and important.

Ugh, it is really hard to live in the moment when you are wishing that it was tomorrow.

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