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All this new information is really exciting, but also a bit overwhelming. I am getting a bit stressed over the sheer amount of information. At times it is even keeping me up at night because my mind just won’t shut off when it is time to go to bed. I feel really good about this path that I am on and I am so pumped up about integrating it all into my life. I have to keep reminding myself that I must take it slow. Gradual. This is not going to happen overnight. But, I am not a patient person by nature. So this inner struggle continues.

I began reading the book The Sunfood Diet Success System by David Wolfe. Wow, let me just say that it is so full of information, I think my brain is going to explode. I need to take a break from this book. It is wonderful, it really, really is, but I don’t think I am there yet. I need to get a book that is more for beginners I think.

I have been discovering new websites and blogs about raw food recipes, raw restaurants, raw food products and stories of people who made the switch to raw. It is all so fascinating and inspiring. Some I connect with more than others. I am beginning to get a sense of what will work best for me.

I really love Matt Monarch and Angela Stokes-Monarch and have been watching their television show called The Raw Food World TV Show. They are the sweetest couple and are so much fun to watch. Another great show is called The Renegade Health Show with Kevin and Annmarie Gianni, another wonderful couple and a lot of fun to watch.

So, I have decided to limit myself to reading only novels in the evenings and saving these informative books for daytime. Hopefully that will help with the sleep issue. I also started up piano lessons again, so that is a welcome distraction. And I just bought a new camera, so that will definitely help too.

I believe that things reveal themselves to us when we are truly ready to receive them.

Not long after I made my decision to become a vegetarian a friend of mine recommended I watch two movies: Food Inc. and Food Matters.

There is so much wonderful information about food and health in both of these movies, but what really stood out for me was one particular person. When he appeared on the screen I was immediately mesmerized by his vitality. David Wolfe is the poster boy for health. He just looks so healthy. Vibrant. Happy. I want even one ounce of that. And how does he achieve it? Raw food.

Then, I watched the documentary Simply Raw: Reversing Diabetes in 30 Days and the companion to this called Raw for Life.

I knew I had found treasure. I had heard about raw food and raw foodists, but the idea never appealed to me before. I didn’t know much about this lifestyle and I had never had the desire before to find out more information.

Until now.

Now I was ready.

2 days after Christmas I decide to become a vegetarian. Each year our neighbour invites us over for a holiday meal, so this year I asked if it would be okay if I brought over my own food. Of course he said yes. It felt good to say it out loud and make it official like that.

January is the beginning of a new year. A time to take stock. It is also my birthday month and so I become another year older. It always makes me take a look at my life; to see if I am on the right path. The path I want to be on.

I think I am. I hope I am. I feel that I am.

I knew I was going to be facing challenges; after all I have never declared myself a vegetarian before. Sure, I have had vegetarian meals, in fact many over the years, but I always went back to eating meat. How would I do this full-time? Would I be able to sustain it? Would I get cravings? Would I give in to them? My gut told me I was doing the right thing, but secretly I was shaking in my boots.

At first it was so easy, and I jumped right in. The food was so delicious and I felt so energized. I hadn’t had this much energy in such a long time; I was on a food high. Everyone around me was eating meat and cheese and breads and all the other foods that I spent so much of my previous life eating; and I was enjoying avocados and salads and fresh fruit juices. Not just eating them, but ENJOYING them.

Then it happened. It was nearing that time of the month. You know what I mean ladies….aunt flow was coming for a visit. Yes, my menstral cycle was approaching. Everything had been going so smoothly up until that point, and now I was craving meat. But not just any meat. I remember the exact moment very clearly. My 8 year old daughter Jayla said to me, “mommy, you know what would be good for supper?”, and inside my head I was thinking…”please, let her say ‘burgers'”. Yes, burgers. The craving was so strong for burgers. It reminded me of when I had been pregnant and a craving would come over me and nothing could take my mind off of the craving until I finally would give in and have it. This was just like that.

Can you still call yourself a vegetarian if you eat meat once a month during your period?? If once a month, on the full moon, I turn into a howling carnivore and scarf down a beef burger?

So, I ate the burger.

And I felt guilty.

And then I decided to turn it around and love myself anyway. Even though I am not perfect. I turned that guilt into love. Love for all beings and especially for me. Because I really need it right now. Because this is going to be a difficult journey and I need to be kind to myself along the way. To take my time. To allow myself these little “slips” back into my old patterns. My body was craving something and it turned to what it knew from past experience would satisfy it. In time I know I will be able to find new alternatives. It’s exciting and scary at the same time.

hello there

I'm Colleen. I am a wife and a stay-at-home homeschooling mother of 3 daughters, living in Canada and beginning my journey towards becoming a raw food vegan. My new mantra is "transition slowly and gradually", which is where I got the name for my blog. Thanks so much for visiting and feel free to leave me a comment to let me know you stopped by for a visit.
"You are not a human being, you are a human becoming." - Og Mandino

contact me:

cbell9115(at)hotmail(dot)com

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June 2017
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